Believe it or not: A True Story from Nova Scotia

Guy walks into a bar and say's: "There's this outfit called AltaGas. They want to dig methane out of the ground and then they want to bury again."

Honest! I couldn't make this stuff up.

Confused? No fuss no muss. The Government say's it's just what we need. They say that it's good for "economic growth". You see, we need more "growth" so we can support all those destitute immigrants that they say that we really, really need so that we can create more "growth".

Having trouble with that one? Beats me. Ask the Ivany Commission. Ask the Catholic Broadcasting Commission CBC. They understand back-to-front-to-back-to-whatever logic.

Anyway, the Liberal Minister for the Environment says it's a great idea. You see, methane is the clean fossil fuel. Not at all like that oil from Alberta. That's the dirty Conservative fossil fuel. Or it was. Now it's Commie NDP fossil fuel. We don't like that, either.

OK, there was this other little difficulty. Something about dumping a gazillion tons of salt into Stewiacke River. You know, so they could make big holes and fill them with methane. Well, perhaps it's not a problem for everyone. It's a damned fine make-work project for engineers.

But those pesky environmentallists, Jeez, they - always - have - issues. Something to do with all the fish that spawn in the Stewiacke River.

Well, that's an easy one. All you have to do is pay them off hire some environmentalists to write an environmental assessment report. Then you take the report to the Liberal Minister of the Environment and he stamps it: "APPROVED".

Oops, "forgot" to pay off those First Nation outfits. They are pissed. Ah well, it was worth a try.

Get out the cheque book boys, time to buy off make another study. Ah, that's opened up the sluice gates. What a relief! Now The Assembly of Nova Scotia Mi'kmaq Chiefs says: "Proceed to GO".

What's that? The Sipekne'katik band council still says: "NO".

Who would have ever imagined?

Sanitized: A True Story from Nova Scotia

Guy walks into a bar and say's: "There's this outfit called AltaGas. They want to dig methane out of the ground and then they want to bury again."

Honest! I couldn't make this stuff up.

Confused? No fuss no muss. The Government say's it's just what we need. They say that it's good for "economic growth". You see, we need more "growth" so we can have more people and we need more people because we need more "growth".

Having trouble with that one? Beats me. Ask the Ivany Commission. Ask the CBC. Ask the Government. They understand back-to-front-to-back-to-whatever logic.

Anyway, the Liberal Minister for the Environment says it's a great idea. You see, methane is the clean fossil fuel. Not at all like that oil from Alberta. That's the dirty Conservative fossil fuel. Or it was. Now it's Commie NDP fossil fuel. We don't like that, either.

OK, there was this other little thing. Something about fish. Heck, I thought John Crosbie announced the end of fish back in 1992. I guess the Liberals are mopping-up after the Conservatives, again. Let's get those pesky fish the hell outta the way for once and for all.