Sent to: email@example.com
Date: 20 July 2009
Subject: Strategic Plan
Dear J Boyd,
I endorse the suggestions expressed by
Mr Becker and
I also enclose a few of my own thoughts regarding the "Strategic Plan".
Sub-Goal #1: Achieve fiscal health of our Town ("living within our means")
- The above could mean anything depending upon the interpretation of "our".
- I hope you don't mean to improve the fiscal health of the Town by
stripping more money from property owners and businesses!
- I suggest more specific language, i.e.:
Sub-Goal #1: Reduce the tax burden on businesses and property owners.
Objective #1: Develop a multi-year financial plan by examining the broad
trends affecting the fiscal sustainability of the Town of Wolfville and
explore the tools at the Town's disposal to address those trends.
- OK, but we all know the "broad trend" has been for tax to increase
more quickly than the income of the people who pay tax --- so
why not say so?
- And why not be upfront and specify "the tools" that the Town might
use to reduce costs and thence reduce the tax burden?
Objective #2: Effectively communicate the fiscal reality of small towns by
building relationships with other levels of government and our
citizens to improve fiscal health.
- If Council knows the "fiscal reality" then just say what it is.
- Or is the problem that "the Town" just does not know what "fiscal reality" is? If not, say so.
- Generally, this "Strategic Plan" reeks of
- Most people in Wolfville understand the English language.
- I suggest "the Town" rewrite the "Strategic Plan" using the English language.
Better luck with the next draft,