Walt's commentary

Nar-fish  (I have no fish or I didn't catch any!) ... Newfoundland saying

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The last salmon of our Newfie trip (contains coarse language)

The scene : The Running Out, Portland Creek, Newfoundland, early Saturday morning. Three hours before we were due to leave for Nova Scotia. Our group consists of Vern, Jim, Roy and me (Paddy). Vern is the only one not to have hooked a salmon. Walt, one of our guides, was to a dance at the Miners Lounge the night before, hasn't been to bed, and is still pretty much under the influence. Casey, our other guide, is walking Vern down to the Sand Pool. Walt is sitting at a picnic table alongside Roy and is filming the proceedings.

The following is a word-for-word transcript taken from that tape :

Walt ... Dats Casey taking de boys down on da river, ohhhhh, it's on a Saturday marnin. Flat out dey is. Boys from Nova Scotia. Now I'll tell you what, if ever you seen a bunch in yer life git a good look at ol Vern there goin on down da river. My son, I'll tell ya what, e's flat out. It should be in da movies, probably is right now. And dere's Paddy of course, not listening to a word of fuck ya tell im. And e's jist aving a ball. E's fishin on down da river and e should be right in dere, right along da shoreline. Cos dat's where trout is. But you wanna tell Paddy dat, nahhhhhh, fuck e never waits for nobody dis marnin. Dere's ol 'arrison Kanes. No, dat's Vern. Flat out e is. Dere's ol Jimmy. Flat out Jim is. Loves it e do.

Roy! Ohhhhhh you ever fuckin bad you are Roy. Hahahahahaha. Look at the fishermen raised in fuckin Nova Scotia, dis dere dat, fuckin ? they let you in Nova Scotia fish n do what ya like. (To Roy) You gonna fish? Vern, Vern got is fish on. You gotta watch dis. Dat Vern is not easy. Ooooh, I tink it's a nice fish. Look at dat, look at dat, look at dat, boogala boogala. And e ain't wearing no clothes.

Roy ... That Casey's some cool.

Walt ... Cool as a cucumber, he sure is a cool dude. Why look at dat, look at dat, boogala boogala. Dat's de only fish dat we seen on dis Saturday marnin. And dose sons of bitches from Nova Scotia. And dey goin along harder dan a son of a bitch. And dere's Vern out in de brook, the only feller whid a fish on. Now you tink dats lucky or what? I'd say it's lucky buddy. Den I'll say dat ?? son of a.

Roy ... Vern'll say it was skill.

Walt ... Oooh, you know it is too. I'd say. 'oock a fish, on a Saturday marnin when nobody's catching a fish. I'd say it's Casey's doin. Ow about dat? I'd say Casey got all o de doin in dat. (To Roy) Now's Vern gonna eat dat fish?

Roy ... Gonna smoke it.

Walt ... Yeahhhh, well e'd better play im careful. Don't lose im Vern. Dere's Paddy down along da side of da shore sitting down alongside dat lady. Course, dat's where Paddy likes ta go. Right down alongside de girls. Eh? Paddy. The womans man. E's like an animal. Oooooh. Dat's 'arrison Kanes, another young feller from Portland Crick. E's pissed off now, Vern got a fish and e didn't. Ohohoho. e'll be probably trying ta kick someones ass before too long. But dere Vern agin. Look. Jist a fightin the shit out of dat fish. Hahahaha. I'm some glad ?? (the band) played at the bar last night. Hahahaha. And da boys from Nova Scotia didn't come. Dere's Jimmy. Not avin a lot of luck but e's fishin. And I would say e's dedicated and right on the job. Watch Vern fishin dat salmon agin. Watch dat fish jump, watch dat fish jump. Jist watch dat sumbitch. I'd say e might be too big ta put a tag on. But dat's only my op, you know, dat's only what I tink, what de fuck do I know, alright. I'm only jist a young feller but I'd say dat's a nice fish. By da time if e ever gets im ashore, I'd say it was too big to put a tag in. And my experience wid dis video camera is not good either, so whoever's watching dis ... Ladies put yer earplugs in and everybody else shut de fuck up and watch dis. Did you hear dat Walter. Vern is flat out now. 'ave im oocked up to a heart monitor now e's goin baba-baba-baba. (To Roy) You wanna do dis now? Ol Paddy's out dere. Dat's a big fish. 'ere comes Vern now look, jist as cool as a cucumber, flat out for da beach. Hahahaha.

End of commentary. So Vern got his salmon and Walt went ome to sleep.

Tales Casting contest I Tangier River I Boyhood memories I Newfie salmon I Muddler's memories I Does a bear? I First ever salmon I The Tickmobile
U-Fish I 4 a.m. I Lyin seasun I Anecdotes I Fishgirl salmon I A natural fly I Main Event I Honeymoon I Vernon I Leslie I Coyote? I Newfie trout I Fantasy

Pat Donoghue, Canada, ©1997