ArlenRic Productions - in all the gin-joints in all the towns in the world, she walks into mine - Casablanca
pouched bugs... chaucer's saucer... de-caf wolfie... doh by doze... mouse meat... ruffled feathers... sofaaa, so good!! defoxxification... table scraps... snooze puddie... the woowoo... ooouch!! the manx...	Melee Gloriosus: Or How Tage Got His Rat These deficiencies are not really difficult to live with and soon become the natural order of things. However there is another category of nuisance which is not at all acceptable, uninvited guests. By uninvited guests I am not referring to the in-laws. I'm talking about varmints. The four-legged type, mice, squirrels and everybody's favourite uninvited guests, rats. It's always a treat to lie awake in bed and listen to the pitter patter of little ratty feet scampering up and down the walls.
One night, about one a.m., Arlene and I were awakened by a terrific scuffling noise accompanied by wild squeaks and growls out in the hall. More noise ensued as what sounded like two combatants knocked over a variety of items this time seeming to come from the bathroom. We had no idea what was going on and when I went to the bedroom door to investigate into the room rushed Tage, one of our cats, chasing something large and grey. "Oh lord it's a rat" Just then Tage reappeared heading down the hallway still in pursuit of his prey. Into the bathroom. More squeaks, growls and thumpings. Tage, weighing about seven pounds, emerged from the bathroom carrying the ten pound rat in his mouth. And it was still alive and kicking. Tage carried his captive back into the bedroom and under the bed. Arlene, who is not in the least faint hearted, by this time was standing on top of a chest saying over again and again "That rat's still alive and he's under the bed" Tage re-emerged from under said bed but sans rat. "Tage just left the rat under the bed. Now what do we do?" Arlene just looked at me and said "I don't care what you do. Just get that thing out of there" I went in search for something to use as a weapon and returned with a large hammer. I just knew there were going to be some interesting moments trying to bash a live rat with that hammer. As I re-entered the bedroom ready to play Rat-Rambo Tage raced under the bed again and then out. Again sans rat
Arlene, from here chest of perch claimed the rat had not come from under the bed. I lay down on the floor and pointed the flashlight I had in one hand under the bed and turned it on. I didn't know what to expect and had the hammer in the other hand poised to strike. There was no movement I could detect but that didn't mean the rat had gone or was in fact dead. I got up and pushed the bed to one side. There was the rat and it was very dead. Tiny little Tage had done him in. Tage was the hero of the day and was rewarded by a couple of spoonfuls of tuna. I disposed of the rat outside where it should have stayed. I have a simple credo, you don't bother me, I won't bother you. I won't hurt you if you stay outside but if you decide to visit indoors,... different rules apply.

ArlenRic Productions
- in all the gin-joints in all the towns in the world, she walks into mine -
Casablanca

chaucer's saucer...

Melee Gloriosus: Or How Tage Got His Rat

These deficiencies are not really difficult to live with and soon become the natural order of things. However there is another category of nuisance which is not at all acceptable, uninvited guests.

By uninvited guests I am not referring to the in-laws.
I'm talking about varmints.
The four-legged type, mice, squirrels and everybody's favourite uninvited guests, rats.

It's always a treat to lie awake in bed and listen to the pitter patter of little ratty feet scampering up and down the walls.

One night, about one a.m., Arlene and I were awakened by a terrific scuffling noise accompanied by wild squeaks and growls out in the hall. More noise ensued as what sounded like two combatants knocked over a variety of items this time seeming to come from the bathroom.

We had no idea what was going on and when I went to the bedroom door to investigate into the room rushed Tage, one of our cats, chasing something large and grey. "Oh lord it's a rat"

Just then Tage reappeared heading down the hallway still in pursuit of his prey. Into the bathroom. More squeaks, growls and thumpings. Tage, weighing about seven pounds, emerged from the bathroom carrying the ten pound rat in his mouth. And it was still alive and kicking. Tage carried his captive back into the bedroom and under the bed.

Arlene, who is not in the least faint hearted, by this time was standing on top of a chest saying over again and again "That rat's still alive and he's under the bed" Tage re-emerged from under said bed but sans rat.

"Tage just left the rat under the bed. Now what do we do?"
Arlene just looked at me and said "I don't care what you do. Just get that thing out of there"

I went in search for something to use as a weapon and returned with a large hammer.
I just knew there were going to be some interesting moments trying to bash a live rat with that hammer. As I re-entered the bedroom ready to play Rat-Rambo Tage raced under the bed again and then out. Again sans rat

Arlene, from here chest of perch claimed the rat had not come from under the bed. I lay down on the floor and pointed the flashlight I had in one hand under the bed and turned it on. I didn't know what to expect and had the hammer in the other hand poised to strike.

There was no movement I could detect but that didn't mean the rat had gone or was in fact dead. I got up and pushed the bed to one side.

There was the rat and it was very dead. Tiny little Tage had done him in.
Tage was the hero of the day and was rewarded by a couple of spoonfuls of tuna.

I disposed of the rat outside where it should have stayed.

I have a simple credo, you don't bother me, I won't bother you.
I won't hurt you if you stay outside but if you decide to visit indoors,... different rules apply.